You Can Thank Your Lucky Stars

So, yep, I am going home.

In a few months, I will be gone from here. Home at the latest in time for Christmas.

I figure, if he misses me that much he will come back earlier than Feb next year!

I will set us up a home and get us a son or daughter in the form of a kitty cat and I will be back with my family and my friends.

It will be so so hard actually leaving Zache and being apart that long, but I just can’t be over here – working for nothing, with no one around and no hope of any cat. Sad life.

I want to be able to go to mums house and just sit there, sit at the beach we used to sit at. Little things like that.

So the planning of going home is what is getting me through every day at work.

You never know how much home means until you leave it.

Zache and I are in the middle of making a HUGE decision, whether or not I move back without him, and him come down when the lease ends over here.

Everything about the idea is awesome, be able to be back with my family and friends, help dad with the rent at my mum’s house for a little while.

And then find us a house, make it a home for when he comes home, and the BEST thing, get a kitty cat!

But neither of us wants to be apart for so long! But I can’t stand it here in Perth.

I ran an update on my phone last night. It got rid of my voicemails from my mum.

I made a shitty recording of them a few weeks ago, but I wish I had thought of that, even thought that that might happen.

I lived having them, just to hear her voice, like she was just on the phone to me like normal.

I hate all of this. I just want her to come back. It is so unfair.

This year was supposed to be the year when things were meant to become easy.

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

So tomorrow is the day!

Pretty excited!

I hope that where ever Mum is she loves it. Knowing I am getting it has already made me feeling a little better, like I am not just sitting around in my sadness, I am doing something positive for her. It doesn’t mean I miss her any less, or that getting out of bed some days is near impossible.

Tomorrow won’t be as hard, only half a day at work, and getting my tattoo. Sounds like a pretty good day really.